Yesterday I took on another sub job. If it sounds like they are few and far between it's because they are. It's so rare to find one for a day that I'm not sick. But the subbing stars aligned and I went for a FULL day. It's pretty impressive for me.
Anyway, I had decided that I wouldn't do any high school positions because 1. I'm too close in age to the students and 2. I look like I should be a student and not the teacher. But a high school math teaching job opened up and I accepted it. And then fretted about how it was going to go.
When I talked to my family about the day they were impressed that I had taken the high school job looking so young, and then they would ask if being pregnant made me seem older to the students.
Unfortunately I was subbing at an alternative high school.
One for students who can't handle a "normal" high school.
AKA almost all the girls at the school are pregnant.
So this was one day where I DEFINITELY looked like a student. Oh and did I mention that I was swelling up in the morning and couldn't put on my wedding ring? You sure betcha I was working to get that thing on all day long.
It was weird to have the girls ask question about my pregnancy and then be able to compare it to theirs. "Oh you're due on April 7th? I'm due April 6th!" Awkward.
It amazes me what these students have gone through. One girl was super excited because she was getting off of parole on the 14th! She had been in rehab and a juvenile detention center and now has a newborn girl. She's not even 18 yet.
Now not all the students have led that wild of a life, one boy was technically a seventh year senior and he was there because he lived with his aunt and kept getting moved around to different states. He dropped out of high school and is working at Walmart, but wants to do more with his life so he's trying to graduate.
At first he really bothered me because he seemed so cocky. Actually a lot of the students seemed really cocky. He kept going on and on about how incredibly smart he is and how he is such a good speaker that he could convince me of anything. I politely disagreed and remarked that you can only convince someone of something if they are willing. The best argument in the world won't do anything unless the person is willing to concede their way of thinking. He didn't understand and we went through a discussion about how vampires are "real" (I'm still not convinced).
He then told me about how popular he is, with his friends stretching across the U.S. and how he was going to make millions by the time he's 26. But he needed constant help with his math work. It made me gloat inside to see that for all his talk, the math assignments were too confusing and he needed MY help to understand. But it wasn't a gloating that I felt too good about.
I soon realized that for all of their talk, these students really weren't doing too well. Sure they have big plans and ideals that are unreasonable. They take pride in knowing all the different slang terms for drugs and they are way too self-assured but it's all a farce. Their big talk is much more for them than it was for me. They need to prove that they can do something with their lives because they really don't have too much going well for them now.
These are the students I want to teach. Those who really need the help and are willing to do what it takes to graduate. Amazingly enough they were super well behaved and did their work even if they do like slacking off and wanted to talk the entire time.
Back in high school it was my dream job to work at the Peoria Transitional Center teaching math. I wanted to help those who really needed it the most. Then I got to college and didn't see the point in taking years of Calculus just to end up teaching pre-algebra, especially when I was tutoring college students who couldn't add or subtract without using a calculator. So I changed my focus to middle school math where I felt I could give the students a more solid basis for math so years down the road they wouldn't struggle so much. After yesterday I realize that I still want to help those who need it the most. I want to help the students who are taking the same math class for years in a row just to pass so they can finally graduate. Even though I still don't know exactly what age group it is I want to teach, yesterday helped to reinvigorate my desire to help people share my love for math.