My Thoughts on Adelaide's Birth (the long story)

Stephen IV was born in under 7 hours.  And they say (whoever "they" are) that subsequent children come quicker than your first.  My mom's first born took about that long, her second was two hours and then she was induced with the rest.  I don't want to be induced.  Like ever.  So I had it in my mind that I might have my third child born at home.  Just cause I don't want to be induced, but I also want to be prepared in case we don't have time to make it to the hospital.

Because of this thought I decided that with Little Miss I would try to not have an epidural.  Ya know, to make sure I could deliver naturally before I labor at home and am forced not to have an epidural.

I have been reading up on how to labor without meds and I even had my sister-in-law come to my labor and delivery as a doula.  I informed my doctor of my wishes and Stephen knew about my plan as well.  I had even coached him this time on things to tell me while in labor.  But then I planned to labor at a hospital where epidurals are available so I could get one if I wanted/needed to.  A few weeks before my due date I even told Stephen that it was most likely I would get an epidural and he quickly agreed.

Stephen IV was also born almost a week early, so I assumed Little Miss would be early too.  Bad assumption.  I had my sister fly out from Maryland for the week prior to my due date and she was staying til two days after my due date.  While she was here we were very active trying to put me in labor.  We went shopping, went on a walk, pulled weeds, ate spicy foods, played active dancing games (that I won thank you very much) all to no avail.

Thankfully I had a scheduled appointment the day after my due date and the day before my sister would leave.  With Stephen I didn't want to, but had my membranes stripped.  I went in to labor that night.  So at my appointment I asked to have my membranes stripped again.  With IV I could definitely feel it, with Little Miss I couldn't feel it and asked the doctor if he'd done it yet.  I was convinced he hadn't done it right and that it was not going to work.

After the appointment we went for a walk downtown to bring on labor.  On the drive I started having contractions.  But because we had just left the appointment I was sure this was false labor (yes, my thinking almost always is this illogical).  Walking around my contractions got down to a minute apart but they didn't hurt, so I was so confused as to what to do.  I didn't want to go to the hospital only to be sent away, but I also didn't want to have my baby in front of the LDS Conference Center.  Ugh, decisions, decisions.

We headed for the hospital only to stop for food, and to drop my mom and son off at home.  My favorite part? Having a super long and hard contraction while watching my dear husband carefully set up and adjust our sprinkler.  WHAT THE!?!  Yeah I can laugh about it now, but at the time his head was looking more and more like the perfect target.

Anyway this post is getting long winded so I will try to wrap it up.

Basically we then got to the hospital where it was confirmed I was in active labor.  I was doing well handling the pain naturally while we waited to be done with the monitoring and get officially checked in.  All of a sudden things changed.  The contractions became painful.  Like really painful.  And I was only dilated to like a 5.  I needed that epidural. So I was moved to the delivery room.  For some reason even though I kept asking for the danged epidural, the anesthesiologist never showed.  One nurse came to check on me and knew from looking at me that I wasn't getting the epidural. Sweet.

So I delivered Adelaide naturally without pain meds.  When my grandma found out she asked me why I would do such a thing.  Haha, cause I didn't have a choice.

I HAD planned on not having an epidural, but I asked for one anyway.  People will tell me that I am a rockstar or a super woman for going epidural-less and while it is wonderful to hear that, I feel like an imposter having that description because I wanted and needed that epidural I just didn't get it.  It's not like I did anything anyone else wouldn't have done.  I did what I did because I had to, not because I have great self-control or pain tolerance.

And honestly?  Going "natural" wasn't that great.  I have heard wonderful stories of how amazing the birthing experience can be without having any pain-meds.  Women claim it helps them bond better with their baby, that nursing is tons easier, or that they have an adrenaline rush afterwards.  Some Christian women even comment on how spiritual the experience can be...that it brings them closer to Christ.

Ehh, not for me.  While it certainly strengthened my relationship with my husband (Did I mention how he was literally holding me while I pushed cause I was half-way off the bed?  Or how he was so proud of me for not stopping even when I wanted to give up?  Yeah he almost cried while I was pushing.  Gosh I love that man...his head is no longer my target ;) it was not a spiritual experience for me, it didn't help me bond more, nor did it help with nursing.  Maybe the stories had built up the experience so much for me that reality couldn't compare.  I don't know.  But what I do know?  Yeah, I'd rather have the epidual.  I think.

I was chatting with my bishop's wife who had her little 3rd child four days before Adelaide, and she had much the same thought as me.  She had an epidural with her first two but then tried hypnobirthing with this one.  She also was fine until transition when she wanted the epidural but couldn't get one.  We've agreed that we will most likely get epidurals in the future.  It was so nice to learn that I'm not alone.